Hamfry and Hambroil's Excellent Adventures

Hambroil Makes a Friend!

2005-10-06T02:27:00.000+03:00

This is the story of two unlikely partners meeting and becoming the best of friends:

Hambroil was lonely. He was tired of spending night after night alone in the Undercity. He needed a friend, someone he could trust-- someone who could trust him. Hambroil searched far and wide for a friend, but no one wanted to play with him. His cries of "29 Priest LFG" in Orgrimmar were only met with shouts of "STFU noob!" So Hambroil, with a heavy heart, travelled alone day after day.

One day, Hambroil's travels brought him to Dun Morogh, where he was taunted and picked on by Alliance. He didn't understand their language, but their laughter was enough. Hambroil trudged along the path, toward the east. Eventually, he came upon Amberstill Ranch, where he saw a Dwarf and his child. They immediately screamed and ran inside their house, scaring away all of the animals as well-- except one. A small, brown-and-white Snowshoe Rabbit remained, looking up at him inquisitively.

Hambroil roared at the young rabbit, making his most intimidating face, but the rabbit stayed, still staring. He turned around and walked away, but he didn't travel more than a few feet before he noticed the rabbit still following him. "Go away," growled Hambroil, "I don't want company." But the rabbit continued following him. Hambroil, getting desperate, cast Psychic Scream on the rabbit. But eight seconds later, the rabbit was right back on Hambroil's heels. In one last attempt to rid himself of his furry follower, Hambroil picked up the rabbit, held it up to his face, and let out a roar that shook the snow off the tallest trees in Dun Morogh. But the rabbit did not run. Instead, it leaned toward Hambroil's face and began licking him.

Hambroil, utterly shocked, placed the rabbit gently on the ground, sat down, and closed his eyes. He was experiencing something he had not felt since he was alive, a feeling that he thought he had forgotten-- love. Hambroil sat there for what seemed like an eternity, drowning himself in memories of his previous life. He saw his wife and children, faces he had stopped caring about long ago. And when he opened his eyes, he saw the Snowshoe Rabbit on his lap, sniffing his worn and tattered robes. Hambroil pat the rabbit gently a few times, stood up, and started on the road again, only this time with his head held high and a new friend at his side.

Hambroil Does Ironforge

2005-10-06T01:47:00.000+03:00

In an unprecedented surge of motivation, I am actually updating this site more than once a month.

The events detailed in this post occurred yesterday. I would have posted them then, but my last post was completed around 4:oo AM.

Hambroil is now 29, and ready for Gnomeregan runs. I wouldn't mind getting some Acidic Walkers and there's a nice robe I get for completing the instance. So I took the teleporter from Booty Bay to Gnomeregan, where I found another example of how Blizzard has given Horde the shorter end of the stick. Let's compare the trips of an Alliance and a Horde to Gnomeregan:

Alliance: If the player hasn't already set Ironforge as his home location, there are still many scenic flight paths and ships that lead the Ironforge area. From Ironforge, a short run along the road leads straight to Gnomeregan and the Meeting Stone.

Horde: Go to Orgrimmar. Speak to the Goblin Engineer Trainer. Fly to Crossroads. Run to Ratchet. Take a boat to Booty Bay. Speak to the Goblin outside the teleporter and receive the Transponder. Jump like a maniac on the teleporter until it acknowledges that you wish to use it (please fix this, Blizzard). Pop up in the middle of a mob-infested area of Gnomeregan and corpse jump to the Meeting Stone (4 deaths at level 29, with Power Word: Shield active).

But I rant. Anyway, I waited for a group for a while, but my short attention got the better of me, and I soon found myself exploring the Dun Morogh area and inching closer and closer to the densely-populated Alliance city of Ironforge. At the base of the mountain leading to the Gates of Ironforge, I devised an ingenious, intricate plan to single-handedly raid Ironforge (basically, corpse-jump until I got bored). It took me six deaths and severe abuse to my corpse by Alliance players, but I finally made it the the Auction House, the most populated area of the city.

I actually had much more fun than I expected. When I popped in the Auction House and "Ironforge is Under Attack!" flashed on every Alliance's chat log, half of the city piled in to see what happened. I had a good laugh, but Hambroil died a little on the inside. I left Hambroil's corpse lying there and logged Hamfry in to get another angle on the body.

I was, reportedly, the first Horde to raid Ironforge in months.

A Recap of Recent Events

2005-10-05T05:03:00.000+03:00

Hello again, everyone! Long time, no see. I could explain why I haven't posted in so long, but that would just bore everyone. So, I'll just cut to the proverbial chase.

First, I would like to introduce my new Horde toon: Hambroil, the Undead Priest. Hambroil likes long walks on the beack, pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. He also enjoys exploration as much as Hamfry, and, because he has access to Horde facilities, has gone to locales Hamfry can only dream of.

Secondly, It is with a heavy heart that I announce Hamfry's semi-retirement. I only used the Druid for healing in instances, and it made no sense to continue leveling him when a priest is much more suited to my tastes. Hamfry will still pop in from time-to-time, but his days of exploring Azeroth are dwindling.

Now for some current events: Awry, Avowry's Horde sister-guild, has merged with the Drunken Minkey Klan, a small Horde guild made mostly of real-life Navy friends. The merger was finalized during a small meeting of the two guilds in the Ring of Valor in Orgrimmar. Everyone wore their Sunday best, and good times were reportedly had.

And now, we get to the meat of the post: exploration. Firstly, not exactly a groundbreaking discovery, but more like a completion of a previous post. I found Monnoroth's armor not-so-subtly hanging around in Orgrimmar. Some of you may remember Monnoroth's staff from my first post.

I inadvertantly made a discovery one buggy night in Ragefire Chasm, a level 15 instance in Orgrimmar. I think it's another universe that I accessed through an opening in the space-time continuum caused by an influx of energy in the Ragefire Chasm instance portal that sucked me in when I stepped into it (the physics engine seems to have been upgraded for realism last patch). I like to call it "/y OMG IM SO STCUK HERE AND I CANT GET OUT BLIZARRD WTF IS GONG ON HELP MEEEEE!!1!1 World". I was stuck there for two days before Blizzard pulled me out. Thanks, Blizzard, you damned idiots.

I received a tip some time ago from a guildmate of mine that a certain commonly found Tauren structure houses a gigantic peace pipe. I found it in Thousand Needles with no trouble, and I'm sure it's also in every other Tauren town out there.

There's a little easter egg in this picture. No prizes if you can spot it, but you'll live in a more humorous world if you do.

My curious, bored, and rebellious spirit has been itching to get into another off-limits area of Azeroth. Caverns of Time was fun, but a recent patch made it totally inaccessible. So I did some research and found that Mt. Hyjal, the site of the World Tree and Warcraft III's final, climactic battle against the Burning Legion, is under development, but accessible. I did some exploring and made it as far as the entrance to Hyjal, but I hit an invisible wall, impassable even to a ghost. I have a theory on how to get in, however, and I am dying to try it out. Anyway, here's a shot of the sealed gate to Hyjal (the invisible wall isabout 3 feet in front of the gate):

And finally, on a humorous note, an observation I made while questing in Thousand Needles:

It sucked as a vacation spot, but it was better than last years trip to Flatulance Valley

Hamfry and the Caverns of Time

2005-06-27T13:40:00.000+03:00

A while back, I had heard of the Caverns of Time while browsing through Thottbot.com. However, I didn't pay attention to where it was or what it was about. But today, while running around in Tanaris, I stumbled upon the Caverns. "Screw questing," I thought, "I can make history!" So,
onward I marched (actually, I stealthed. The level 50 elite dragons patrolling the pathway to the caverns were a bit too tough for my mid-40 self), towards the door, where I was greeted by the level -1+ elite dragon Chronus (or something like that). He saw through my invisiblilty immediately and killed me in one hit. But I wasn't about to let that stop me. I kept respawning and getting killed instantly, but I got closer and closer to the door each time until I was able to spawn inside the caverns and out of Chronus' sight.

I was surprised to see no mobs once inside the Caverns, but I guess those are the last things that Blizzard adds when designing a dungeon. Speaking of, Blizzard also seems to put wall textures on last too, because the physical caves disappeared less than fifty feet into the Caverns. But thank God for that, because beyond those invisible walls was the most amazing and beautiful backdrop I've seen in the game so far: an entire solar system, complete with asteroid fields, planets, stars, and a nebula. The floors were also littered with the occasional doodad, like a bear-skin rug, a bed, and a boat full of skeletons. Towards the end of the cave, things started to get really interesting. As I walked, a gigantic (but unfinished) hourglass appeared. And, just a bit to the left, was the instance portal. Much to my dismay, however, the portal was inactive and I ran into a dead end shortly after.

4/19/05

2005-06-27T13:08:00.000+03:00

After about five or six levels of grinding on the shores of Theramore, I finally decided to do some exploring in Kalimdor. However, Kalimdor seems to be about fifteen levels higher than me. Thus, my travels were somewhat limited. I did, however, stumble upon a couple references to Warcraft 3 in Felfire Hill, Ashenvale. First I saw Grom Hellscream's tomb. Then, a bit farther down the road, I saw this:

This is the staff of Warcraft 3's Monnoroth, who was killed in one of Blizzard's best cinematics.

That's the only picture for today. I'll have some more next time I see something cool.

Let's give this another shot.

2005-06-27T11:29:00.000+03:00

So I've decided to move Hamfry's Travels from Geocities to here, mostly because I'm dying of boredom and Geocities' page builder takes forever to load with dial-up.